If someone feels disconnected from a wife or husband. If he or she has tried everything and realizes that they have mistakenly chosen a spouse with whom they are not able to share their life, an affair is not the answer.

If the aggrieved husband or wife feels that he or she would be better off alone than continuing the marriage, then a divorce may be in order. If one retains one's spouse until finding a substitute, that is a sign of a severe character flaw. Among other faults, shows a lack of courage.

The aggrieved spouse should proceed gently. They should help their partner understand that the marriage is unworkable, that they are not able to successfully share their lives. If successful in reaching that understanding, they can arrange a divorce without rancor and conflict. They can arrange to cooperatively co-parent their children. The children will not have to cope with the betrayal involved with an affair.

Once each former spouse has adjusted to their new status, they can, if they choose, consider a new relationship.

An affair is never justified. It is a betrayal of trust and an act of cowardice.